Albuterol and Torment

A poem I wrote on the first anniversary of my son’s death.

The view from my son’s grave (photo owned by author)

Anoint me with formaldehyde
Pray away my human condition
Overdose my soul with serotonin day dreams
Laugh when I scream
At the overwhelming pain
Call me dramatic
Quote me figures
And useless symbols on paper
As I lay there
Holding my breath again
To see just how long
I can stand it
Abandon it:
That plan you had
To try and make me feel better
Crumble me
Into little pieces in your hand
Boast your lung power
As you scatter me
Remind me,
Again,
How good it feels to die.

If you or are contemplating suicide, please reach out to your local police department or The National Suicide Prevention Hotline. 1- 800–273–8255 You are not alone.